This First Person article is the experience of Tarn Tayanuth, a Thai-born chef who lives in Victoria and cares for her mom. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ. 

I’m an only Asian child, and that comes with its own baggage. 

But I’m also a queer woman in the restaurant business and I am supporting my mother with Alzheimer’s disease. Now that’s baggage.

Obligation isn’t quite the right word because, of course, I love my mom — but in our culture, there is huge emphasis on familial responsibilities.

The reality is, caring for a parent with